


The End Leads to the Beginning

by garrisonbabe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s05e04 The End, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-29
Updated: 2013-01-29
Packaged: 2017-11-27 10:45:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/661088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garrisonbabe/pseuds/garrisonbabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are a few mistakes Dean needs to fix before he makes them. One of the biggest is what Cas turns into.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The End Leads to the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically how I always imagine my canon-compliant Destiel starting.
> 
> I am half asleep right now and this is loosely edited and unbeta'd, so please forgive any mistakes. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
> 
> I own nothing, Kripke is king.

As Dean walked around the camp it was becoming increasingly obvious that he needed to find Sam when he got back home. He needed to call his brother and try and fix whatever the hell fucked up relationship they had. The future version of himself told him everything both as a warning and a plea. Practically begged Dean to say yes to Michael. Then Cas had come through the door and he shut up real fast. Needless to say that piqued Dean’s curiosity.

That was what led him back to Cas’ cabin, a place filled with the clinging smell of pot and littered with pill bottles and condoms. The beads on the door rattled lightly, more than enough to alert the sole resident of the ramshackle shrine of iniquity. Castiel’s glazed eyes turned to him, an empty smile pulling his mouth wide apart. Dean wondered briefly if that smile ever fooled anyone, if anyone could be dumb enough to believe it was real.

“Deeeaaan!” The syllable was drawn out and slurred and Dean had to put on his best fed face to keep from cringing at it. The broken man stood from where he was stretched on the floor reading. Once the book was closed Dean read the title. _The Stand_ by Stephen King, of all the things to read during the apocalypse.

“ _The Stand_ , really, Cas?” He didn’t bother hiding the scolding disbelief in his tone.

A sharp shrug pulled the fallen angel’s shoulders, a motion so foreign in comparison to what Dean was used to that he wasn’t sure if there was even anything of the actual Castiel left in this creature. “Dean found it for me. Reading helps keep you sane here.”

Dean scoffed. “You call him sane?”

“The term may have broadened since your time. Anyway, what can I do for you?” He stood so loosely, weight centered on one leg, arms crossed and it looked like such an easy stance for him that Dean just wanted to shake him apart.

“Couldn’t help but notice when you showed up earlier, he started acting different.” Cas tilted his head and his smile widened. “Something funny?” Dean ignored the stab in his chest at seeing such a familiar action utterly desecrated by the shadow of his friend standing in front of him.

“You would pick up on that, wouldn’t you?” Dean raised one brow and shook his head, confusion clear in his features. “Heard Risa almost slapped you because the fearless leader of our fine camp was sleeping around.”

Dean blinked and gaped for a moment. Good to know Cas still had no clue how to transition between conversation topics. “Yeah, okay, and?”

“She was probably pissed for more than just one girl on the side. Monogamy is a rare thing these days, Dean.” Dean tried to piece together what Cas was saying but it still wasn’t making much sense. It must have showed because Castiel let out a small sigh and shook his head, a teasing laugh wracking his frame. “Risa’s not my biggest fan and she’s always been a little jealous. Apparently when she found the one of you she was looking for, she bitched him out.”

It clicked in Dean’s head and his eyes widened, mouth forming a small ‘oh’ as everything settled. “So, you and him?” Cas nodded, hint of a smirk on his face. “How long?”

Cas squinted, eyes going out of focus as he tried to remember. “Shortly after Carthage, actually.”

“Carthage? Missouri?” What was so special about Carthage?

“Of course, to you that hasn’t happened. Don’t worry about it, you’ll know when you get there.” Dean watched as Cas turned and walked back to his bed, flopping back on it heavily. “Was that all?”

That was the moment he realized Sam wasn’t the only thing that needed fixing back home. He pulled a chair away from the wall and sat down heavily. There was nothing else to do, it didn’t seem Castiel had much to do either and of course now he was morbidly curious about his and Cas’ supposed sex life.

Before he could speak Castiel pushed himself to rest on his elbows, head tilted lazily in a way that made Dean itch to be back home. “He told you to say yes to Michael, didn’t he?” Dean nodded. Cas scoffed and rolled his eyes, sitting up the rest of the way, elbows resting on his knees. He was just watching Dean, assessing him. “You won’t though, will you?” It wasn’t much of a question, even if it was posed as one. It was more of a challenge, a dare.

“No, I won’t.” For a moment they just sat there, staring at each other.

“Of course you won’t. You never change.” Castiel’s tone was flat, betraying little emotion. “I know every inch of you, body and soul. It’s almost amusing that Zachariah thinks he’ll find a way to make you agree.” Speaking of body…

“Your first time, it was with me?” Castiel nodded. “How was it?” Because he had to know. Dean would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it. Knowing now that would happen, he felt compelled to hear all the details, to know if it was another mistake he needed to fix before he made it.

Cas’ smile came back, a lewd edge to it as he leered at Dean and stood. He closed the short distance between them and sat down in Dean’s lap, straddling his thighs. “Do you want the summary, or are you more interested in a live demonstration?”

Dean’s lips were covered before he could respond, the man in his lap rolling his hips forward. He put his hands on Cas’ sides, unsure if he was going to push him away or pull him closer yet. Cas’ hands were on either side of his head to hold him in place while he led the kiss. It wasn’t what he thought about when he thought about kissing Cas. Normally in his dreams it was either something hot and filthy, Cas’ head wrenched to the side while Dean fucked him into the mattress, or it was so chaste and innocent it made him wake up sick to his stomach. He couldn’t afford to dream about sweet kisses and first dates, especially if where he was sitting was any indication.

One of Cas’ hands reached down, fiddling the buckle of his belt and effectively pulling Dean out of his head. He broke the kiss and grabbed Castiel’s wrist, pulling his hand back up. “Cas, I… this can’t—“

“It has to be him first.” Dean leaned forward, resting his forehead on Cas’ shoulder. There was a resigned slump to them, a defeated sigh meeting his ears that sounded so painfully like the Cas he knew. Fingers threaded into his hair, pulling him back up to meet the broken angel’s eye. The smile he found on the other man’s face was, for once, genuine. It was broken and his lips remained closed over his teeth. Dean opened his mouth to speak, but the hand in his hair moved to cover his mouth before he could. “Just promise me that when you get back home, you’ll tell him you love him while you can still feel it.”

Dean ground his jaw and nodded. He wrapped his arms around Cas and pulled him close, offering the only physical comfort he could. 

 

One moment he was standing in his hotel room, Zachariah excitedly threatening him and the next he was on the side of some road, Castiel’s hand a steady weight on his shoulder. He turned to him and had to force himself not to see the drug addict that willingly threw himself into a suicide run only to have it fail.

“We had an appointment.” His voice wasn’t that much different, but Dean could hear every variation from the one in 2014.

Dean smiled and pulled the angel against him, their lips meeting in the type of kiss he always imagined virgins having. Ones where no tongues made an appearance and both parties walked away blushing with their fingers laced. Cas made a startled noise and stiffened until Dean cupped the side of his head with one hand. Both of his hands went to Dean’s chest, fingers digging in just over Dean’s heart. When the kiss broke Cas’ eyes fluttered open dazedly before his head tilted. The confusion on his face was actually kind of endearing. Dean laughed softly and kissed him again, just because he could. He pulled away and sighed quietly, closing his eyes and resting their foreheads together. The promise he made in the future prodded at him, told him to say something while his courage was still high. 

“Don’t ever change, Cas.”


End file.
